Jim, this comment is a bit off topic, but when I read your column I thought, again, about what is the right name to apply to Mr. T.

I’ve long been frustrated over my inability to find the correct, accurate, fitting name for the bloated, orange-haired, bag of guts who lives in the White House, when he’s not in some over-leveraged hotel that’s paid him to use his name.

Some of the names I’ve come up with have been close, or at least in the proper ball park, but never exactly right:

The Megalomaniac In Chief (MIC) — too long and it doesn’t capture the man’s basic, evil meanness

Mr. Crazy — it also fails to effectively to convey his despicable, junkyard-dog character

Mr. Snake — yes, this one does capture his toxic nature, but it fails to express the possibly patentable (though almost certainly copyrightable) combination of stupidity and delusion contained in his self-proclaimed description of himself as a “stable genius” when he is neither stable nor a genius.

Then it came to me:

Mr. Crazy Snake.

He is both crazy and a snake. That juxtaposition of both lunacy and evil is what was defeating me in my search for the perfect name.

One word was just too small to embrace both qualities. I was trying to treat him like those people who stride through the world with only one name — Prince, Madonna, Stalin — but he does not deserve to be in their company.

No, the Mr. T’s personality grab-bag of sins is just too overstuffed for his essence to be contained within a single word. It requires at least two words to properly describe his mean and disastrous nature.

But now, I’ve got it — his new, proper and correct name is Mr. Crazy Snake. Feel free to use it if you want.

— David Grace

Graduate of Stanford University & U.C. Berkeley Law School. Author of 17 novels and over 200 Medium columns on Economics, Politics, Law, Humor & Satire.

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