Thanks Allan but I was disappointed that your sources were unable to provide you with a draft of the terms of surrender. Perhaps the perpetually disorganized WH staff is merely performing at their baseline level of incompetence in this regard.

At first I thought that a quick fix would be to modify the terms of surrender that Grant gave to Lee at Appomattox and use them, but upon review they appear to be inapplicable to turning over an entire country to a foreign power.

In lieu of a formal surrender document, perhaps Mr. Evil could simply preside over a ceremonial ripping-up-and-burning of the Constitution followed by giving Putin a little vial containing the ashes with the Trump corporate logo on it as a commemorative gift.

I would think that would be enough to keep Vlad happy and transfer the final payment into Mr. Evil’s numbered account. Don’t you?

— David Grace

Graduate of Stanford University & U.C. Berkeley Law School. Author of 17 novels and over 200 Medium columns on Economics, Politics, Law, Humor & Satire.

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